Motto: "It's not enough that I win - you must lose."
A competing style is one in which the concerns and the position of the opposition are completely ignored. Winning the argument is the only metric, and any concession to the other side is seen as a sign of weakness. The conflict can be won by any means necessary: argument, rank (position or authority), or a political exercise of power. If you use this style, you have no concern about the other side's feelings or how they will live with the decisions - that is their tough luck.
The competing style can be appropriately used when the goal is quick action, or when there is little hope of consensus ever being reached. To use this style, you had better be sure of your ability to make certain the other side accepts your decision and acknowledges your power.
The disadvantage of the competing style is that it may cause the other side not to voice important concerns because they will be ignored anyway. In this way, domineering bosses or coworkers can get their way, but possibly at the expense of important information which could alter the decision. People using the competing style can be surrounded by 'yes men', and since their concerns are always ignored, their loyalty doesn't run very deep.
If you scored high on Competing:
- Consider whether you really care about the issues - or just care about winning.
- Assess whether your need to win is damaging your relationships.
- Practice giving in on issues unimportant to you. (This will be hard for you.)
If both sides in a conflict are using a competing style, watch out. The struggle will be long and hard and the result is likely to be ugly.
