Elisabeth Kubler-Ross made famous the five stages of grief, and they have been applied to layoffs too:
- Denial - "This can't be happening." I think that most of the denial occurs BEFORE the layoff, when people see the signs of a declining company but figure that something is going to work out. Looking for a job is such a pain most people will wait until they are fired to start. But really, if the company is tanking you should start looking way before you get fired.
- Anger - "I am so pissed that those idiots. Wait until they try and get along without me." This is actually a really unproductive phase, but it feels so good to think of all the mistakes the company is making by firing you. You might be angry at a lot of people, including those who didn't get laid off. You're going to feel the company has been ungrateful for all of your work. And you're right. But economics trumps gratitude every time. It's important not to vent your frustrations at work, or go in and tell the boss off no matter how much you want to. File this under "Burn bridges, don't".
- Bargaining - "How about if I take a pay cut...?" I've seen people put together elaborate plans to try to keep their job. Why not? After all, being out of work sucks and looking for a job is hard. If you can just convince them of your worth, maybe they'll reconsider. But I've rarely seen this work. In most companies the severance process is so complicated that once it is put in motion, nothing is going to change it.
- Depression - and, I would add, fear. "How am I ever going to survive?" This is the big one and the stage that traps the most people for the longest time. Of course you're going to feel depressed. This is life-changing. The future is unknown. You had a good - or at least ok - job and now it's gone. Feel bad, talk with your friends, curse the company... and then move on.
- Acceptance - So here is a certainty: while you are in the first four phases, you aren't going to get another job. So roll through them, give yourself some time and then figure out what you are going to do next. You may find yourself repeating a couple of the phases (especially Anger and Depression, I've found), even after you've reached Acceptance. But as long as you are out there trying to find something new, I wouldn't worry. You may want to review some of the material in the Finding Your First Job section as you start your job search anew.
