Motto: "I'll think about that tomorrow."
The goal of the avoiding style is to avoid making a decision at whatever cost. Neither your concerns nor the concerns of the other party need be satisfied. Obviously, this style is only appropriate when the issues are of low importance, or it is clear to both parties that the consequences of delay in making a decision will be minimal (or perhaps more information is forthcoming). It may also be appropriate when you are being pressed to negotiate a peripheral issue and there is a much bigger - and more important - conflict looming.
An avoiding style should be used sparingly and only when something is going to change: you, the other person, or the situation. For example, it's ok to avoid a conflict with a co-worker if you know you are going to quit your job soon.
Use this style carefully, and only if you are certain that you are not employing it as a way to escape an unavoidable conflict. The avoiding style is only a delaying tactic and if use it too often you will be labeled as 'passive-aggressive' and the decisions will be made without your input.
If you scored high on Avoiding:
- Maintain an awareness of your tendency to withdraw in tense or difficult interpersonal situations and work to overcome it.
- Learn to move a conflict from confrontation to collaboration.
- Ask questions if you are uncomfortable making assertions: instead of "I deserve a raise" try "Do you think I'm being fairly paid?".
