How about this from your cubemate:
"Why did you tell our client about the features in our next software release? You know they are also working with our competitor and they'll probably give them that information. Can't you just keep your mouth shut? Are you a complete idiot?"
Angry people are the hardest to deal with of all since there is so much emotion involved. You have to control your emotions while they are venting. Don't make excuses ("I didn't know I wasn't supposed to tell them") or point out mistakes they've made ("Why didn't you stop me?") or be defensive ("Don't tell me what to do"). Take ownership for your mistakes and Agree-Empathize-Inquire:
(AGREE) "I probably shouldn't have given them that information."
(EMPATHIZE) "It will be a bummer if our competition knows what's in the next release."
(INQUIRE) "Jim, do you think I should call the client and let them know I made a mistake and ask them not to share that information?"
Some other tips for dealing with angry people:
- Never say "You're wrong", even if they are. Try "I see it differently" or "I thought that...".
- Let the anger run its course. Listen, nod and empathize. If the other party is too emotional, ask for a time out. "Can we talk about this in an hour?"
- Bring the conversation back to problem solving and resolution at every chance, especially if it become confrontational again.
- Ignore attacks. Easier said than done.
